Town Installs Second Roundabout to Give Drivers Time to Recover From First

Engineers say the additional loop gives motorists a full 11 seconds to reconsider every choice that brought them there.

By Misprint StaffDecember 31, 1969 at 5:15 AM1 min readSatire

Aerial view of city roads and buildings — A scene recreated after everyone involved declined to remember it clearly.Photo illustration / The National Misprint

CEDAR GROVE — Municipal engineers opened a second roundabout directly after the town’s first Tuesday, describing the project as a compassionate response to visible driver distress.

The new circle allows motorists to continue turning while processing the surprise of the original circle.

A calming transition

Transportation officials added 19 arrows, eight signs, and a decorative shrub that appears to be making a left turn.

“By the fourth lap, most drivers have accepted where they are,” project manager Luis Ortega said.

A third roundabout is planned to help residents recover from the second.

This is satire. This story is fictional. Any resemblance to actual events is an unfortunate scheduling coincidence.

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